Exponential or Geometric..Growth is Growth

I love to look at the mirror and gaze at me, stand  in awe of the awesomeness of God; do not get me wrong (whatever it is u may be thinking);  I Love myself, and its not funny cos it took me a while to learn to. The human growth process is so much more than our weights in Kg and our height in feets and inches, it spans from the physical, through the mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual; at what point can we ever say we’ve grown? Its simple , when we feel a shift in all these areas...and yes an upward shift that would have been caused by various events, pleasant, unpleasant, that we must have experienced over a period of time.
I have learnt a lot, am not sure if its just me exaggerating again or my personality that tends to magnify little things(which could be annoying) , i have come to appreciate the gift of life, beauty, sanity and completeness. (Hopefully this post wont be disjointed#just thinking out loud with the keyboard)
I am always in constant check of me, wanting to synchronize the picture of me i see in my mind to the picture that really exist; taking advantage of the greatest tool ever given to man; Imagination. I’ve been harder on myself than anyone else, in my world perfect is possible.
I had at a time built myself to look all able, capable, forgetting that those words were best reserved for God who not only is capable and dependable, but also unchangeable, able, stable, constant and faithful. I’ve failed many times, but never stopped trying. I have grown, yes i have**smiling** I’ve learnt somethings the hard way.
Ok so in some months time i’d be a year older; am not scared, just some little thoughts and questions that pop is this mind of mine.
So i tot to myself that i miss being younger. Being younger comes with some form of innocence that lacks worry and fear about the future and about tomorrow, there’s also some level of trust that comes naturally with being young, a time where  fairies exist (#just turned to look at a picture of me at 7, am not sure if am smiling or crying, but i’ve got both expressions..lol). You know i remember when Agabni Darego won Miss world , i remember i told my Dad i’d like to do that when am older, and my Dad looked at me in the face and he told me i was more beautiful than Agbani Darego(am really crying now) , I believed him, and  since then i always contested for beauty pageants and always came 2nd for whatever reasons..lol...Its been long since my Dad looked me in the eye and told me i was more beautiful than Agbani Darego(..lol..he probably thinks i should know that by now). I’ve been crazy about my wardrobe of late, wanting to conform to something i’m still placing a finger on, some few years back, i wouldn’t have really bothered, so far my clothes were neat and fit, now i constantly check my weight also, hilarious but shameful.
My mum was the same age i’d be in few months when she walked down the aisle with my dad, now am not competing with that..Nada; things were a lot more different back then. In relation to me its dicy, because as much as its every girls dream to walk down the aisle with her prince in shiny amour, tall, dark and handsome, i just want to get it right and get it right for the rest of my life, i don’t want it late either, but then i don’t want to be desperate, i want it to come naturally, when there’s that need on my part and mine’s part. The truth is if there’s no need it becomes forceful and dramatic. There’ always the need for companionship. In a world where the society expects differently, there’ just a tendency to get confusedly quite about this.  If one decides to because its the rave of the moment, then when the rave is over, one will be left with the reality.
Amidst all of my personal opinions about this, i enjoy wedding shoppings and i cry at weddings because i feel the weight of the commitments and really imagine how anyone in their right logical senses will make such commitments; commitments only Love can achieve....don’t blame those that say Love is blind.....lol...but yes seriously.
Year in Year out, we have resolutions and statements from God about times, seasons, phases, knowing the infallibility of God’s word, am constantly reminded about the inconsistency of the human nature; but shall we continue in sin that grace may abound, prolly the more reason why i miss being younger is because of the scriptures that tells us “Verily, i say unto you, except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven” Matt18:3. God desires that we should be like children in the heart; in humility, trusting and obeying; its not possible to forever be young, but its possible to be older and have the heart of a child.
I write because i feel the need to express myself, yes i could talk a lot, but am more expressive writing.
In closing my dad might not tell me am beautiful or my mum get me valentine presents like she used to, the days may run faster and years come closer, i’m learning to make every day count, every moment unforgettable and leave my footprint in the sand of time.